Saturday, October 18, 2008

Dreams (Part 2)

It's just there are some feelings left inside me, deep deep inside me and locked ... such feelings maybe be so "precious" to let go of them, but that's not always the case with everyone. Some feelings are just so "dangerious" to be shared with anyone. After all life is a complicated Game with simple Rules !

When i think about life... I feel it's so mysterious. What amazes me is that my non-forbidden dreams are those huge dreams that seem imposible to be done, while my forbidden dreams seem so smooth and easy to be done in the real life... but yet so far from my life! Yeah it's a complicated Game, i told you...

I know the picture is not clear yet, but as you get closer... you see more details, remember that. I told you before i can't speak about my non-forbidden dreams but i can explain it's meaning, so that you can understand too the philosophy of this theory. They are the dreams i want to acheive in my life, my Mission throught this life as a Warrior, it's one of the only reasons that makes me keep on going... Everyone has his own goals and also has their own Motives.

Ater all the fighting i've been through in life, i still didn't reach my goals, but at least i started to feel it's smell before tasting it. That's the way i get thrilled now after the different life journies i've experienced. But sometimes in the middle of the battle and in the middle of all that focusing and pain, i just pause for a moment... Sorry i lied! I don't pause on purpose, but there is always that thing that comes to me for stopping what i do... I try to avoid it, but sometimes i can't.
It's very tempting, but it's not my weakness, NO! there is No more Time for feeling weak or being defeated, but it's that Human part inside me... it's my feelings.

I stop for a second and look back, look back to some feelings i left behind long time ago. It keeps on coming again and again but with defferent masks and faces. I remind my self that i've been much stronger without those feelings, why do i always stop! No again, it's not weakness... never insult me please, but it's that word i should believe in... Hope! And that's the reason that made me fall to alot of traps, but i thank GOD that saves me before it's too late. But Hope is always there... that means my Human part could stop again for that tempting desire... But the good news is, i Lost that Desire... Maybe later on i would fall for the same trap but i woun't Regret it as long as i am doing it and doing it the Right way... while watching others being Wrong with me... You think that' weakness! I told you before No insults, but i know you get it now... Let them carry away my Sins and let their Deeds give me a push Forward...

I told you Life is a complicated Game, i didn't lie on you... but in-return the Rules are so simple, we just have use the suitable manual ...

To Be Continued (Ensha Allah)


I spent alot of my time alone, and i still do... I think about so much things, some things i can share with you and others i just can't. I discovered throught my life that "Reality" is what i should search for... so i dedicated my life searching and travelling throught its different thoughts and views, but sometimes... i just couldn't controle my feelings, and i think about other stuff... after all there is a small human part inside me. I know that is not expected to be heard from me, but also beasts have feelings... they are just hidden deep deep inside.

Sometimes i would just try to dream, as any other creature on Earth or on any other planet. But for me there are two types of dreams, one of them is furbidden. The other is the reason keeping me alive and this is one of the things i can't share with you. The "forbidden" dreams are my simple personal ones, no i am not selfish if you're wondering, it's just there are some feelings left inside me, deep deep inside me and locked ...

To Be Continued (Ensha Allah)